101 Silly Christmas Jokes for Kids
Jokes are good all year round, but when the whole family are gathered around some good food and a beautifully decorated tree, they’re even better! Jokes are best shared, after all. So take a look at some of our favourite silly Christmas jokes for kids. All jokes are taken from our new release: The Ultimate Family Christmas Cracker Advent Book 2022.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus on Christmas Eve?
Looks like rain, dear.
Who brings cats presents?
– Santa Paws!
Why did Santa Claus take his tree to the dentist?
— To get a root canal!
Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crummy.
Why does Scrooge love Rudolph?
Because every buck is deer to him.
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping.
Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
They are always dropping their needles.
What’s white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
Santa Claus in an elevator!
How do you scare a snowman?
You get a hairdryer!
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house.
Who says ‘Oh, oh, oh’?
Santa walking backwards.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!
What do you call a Santa that sleeps all the time?
Santa Snores.
What do you call a snowman in summer?
A puddle!
What’s black and white and red all over?
Santa after going down the chimney.
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet!
Who gives presents to baby sharks?
Santa Jaws!
What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
– Tinselitis!
How do you know when Santa is in the room?
– You can sense his presents.
What did the monkey sing on Christmas Day?
Jungle Bells.
What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
Nothing, reindeers can’t talk!
Did you hear about the cracker’s Christmas party?
It was a BANG!
What did the cow get for Christmas?
A cow-culator.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
What comes before Christmas Eve?
Christmas Adam.
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia.
What type of motorbike does Santa Claus ride?
A Holly Davidson.
Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
Where do elves go to dance?
Christmas balls!
What do reindeers hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.
Why did Rudolph cross the road?
Because he was tied to the chicken!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
One that’s deep pan, crisp and even!
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper!
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!
What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you!
What’s the best thing to put into a Christmas Cake?
– Your teeth!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
– Snow flakes.
Where do you find chilli beans?
At the North Pole!
What do sheep say at Christmas?
A Merry Christmas to Ewe!
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
Mistle-toad!
What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled!
What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A humbug.
Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
Hollywood!
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Day?
Because it soots him.
What do you call Santa with no money?
St Nickel-less.
What’s a child’s favorite king at Christmas?
Stoc-king!
What’s an ig?
An eskimo house without a loo.
What did the snowman and his wife hang over their baby’s crib?
A snow mobile.
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet?
The Christmas one has no L (Noel).
Who’s impossible to overtake at Christmas?
The Three Wide Men.
What never eats at Christmas?
A turkey – it’s always stuffed!
What did the cow say on Christmas Day?
Moooooey Christmas!
Which of Santa’s reindeers has bad manners?
Rude-olph.
What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper!
What is the most popular Christmas carol in the desert?
Camel ye faithful.
Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
Because he’s a fun guy to hang out with.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost.
Where does Santa stay when he’s on vacation?
At a ho-ho-hotel.
What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?
A porcupine!
What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
Go to a re-tail store!
What’s the most popular wine at Christmas?
‘I don’t like brussel sprouts’.
What’s the most boring animal?
A polar bore.
What is a female elf called?
A shelf.
What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers.
Where do polar bears go to vote?
The North Poll.
What did Cinderella say when the chemist lost her photographs?
Someday my prints will come!
What’s worse than Rudolph with a runny nose?
Frosty the snowman with a hot flush!
How do snowmen get around?
On an icicle.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
Why don’t penguins fly?
Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots!
In Texas, a wild elf is known as what?
Gnome on the range.
What do you get if you cross an archer with a gift wrapper?
– Ribbon Hood.
What do hungry snowmen put on their icebergers?
– Chilly sauce!
Where do Santa’s reindeer like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen.
What did the snowman’s hat say to the scarf?
You hang around while I go on ahead.
What do you call a reindeer wearing earmuffs?
Anything you want because he can’t hear you!
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
The letter ‘D’!
What type of bread do elves use?
Shortbread!
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Day?
Black mail.
Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Day?
Because he’s Sooty!
What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
Santa Clues.
What do you sing on a snowman’s birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause.
How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
Chick to chick.
What do vampires put on their Christmas dinner?
Grave-y.
Have you ever heard of a stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas!
How do elves greet each other?
‘Small world, isn’t it!’
What did the big angel say to the little angel?
‘Halo there!’
How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer!
What is the only bird that can write?
A pen-guin.
What kind of money do elves use?
Jingle bills.
Where do you find elves?
Depends where you left them!
How does Rudolph know when it is Christmas?
He looks at his calen-deer.
Why was the turkey asked to join Santa’s band?
Because he had the drumsticks!
What is a snowman’s favorite Mexican food?
Brrrrr-itos.
Does Santa like Christmas carols?
No, he’s more into wrap.
What is Santa Claus’s wife called?
Mary Christmas!
Why did Jimmy’s grades drop after Christmas?
Because everything was marked down!
What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Comet.
What’s Santas favorite candy?
Jolly Ranchers.
What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A sad candy cane.
Why is Santa so good at karate?
Because he has a black belt.
What did the big candle say to the little candle?
I’m going out tonight!
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum – you can’t beat it!
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo.
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I’ll never part with it!
What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
How does Santa take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid.
What did the ocean say to Santa?
Nothing, it just waved!
What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf farm!
What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack!
What do witches use to wrap their presents?
Spello-tape.
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had nobody to go with.
What are the wettest animals in the world?
Reindeer.
What’s white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
Loved these silly Christmas jokes?! For more family fun, check out The Ultimate Family Christmas Cracker Advent Book—the must-have advent calendar alternative for 2022.
“The Fun and Interactive Advent Calendar Alternative for 2022”
Combining two of the world’s most beloved Christmas traditions: advent calendars and Christmas crackers, The Ultimate Family Christmas Cracker Book is a fun and exciting new concept in the world of books! It’s a hilarious, yet educational and interactive way to spend time with your family over the Christmas period.“The Fun and Interactive Advent Calendar Alternative for 2022”
Combining two of the world’s most beloved Christmas traditions: advent calendars and Christmas crackers, The Ultimate Family Christmas Cracker Book is a fun and exciting new concept in the world of books! It’s a hilarious, yet educational and interactive way to spend time with your family over the Christmas period.“The Fun and Interactive Advent Calendar Alternative for 2022”
Combining two of the world’s most beloved Christmas traditions: advent calendars and Christmas crackers, The Ultimate Family Christmas Cracker Book is a fun and exciting new concept in the world of books! It’s a hilarious, yet educational and interactive way to spend time with your family over the Christmas period.
